She's a Maniac, Monster Mania/c on the Floor.

Who here grew up watching all those 90s cable horror list docs on channels like AMC, Bravo, VH1, etc? Seemed like around Halloween they'd pop up and I was like the Fly to flypaper. I had to watch. Even though I had seen all of those "old" monster movies a million times I loved watching hosts like Elvira cracking boob jokes when talking about The Blob or Jack Palance whispering about King Kong or whatever. Microwave some Bagel Bites and please enjoy Monster Mania (1997) as shown on AMC. 

 

Thrill Me: Tomcat Dangerous Desires (1993)

Welcome thrill-seekers to another episode of Thrill Me, a deep dive (or at least a peek through the motel peephole into) the lurid thrillers of the 80s & 90s. Serial killers, bad boyfriends, unhinged babysitters, dudes that are part cat... Yeah you heard me. So who here remembers Richard Grieco? The not-as-suave, pouty, slightly sweaty replacement for Johnny Depp on the original 21 Jump Street show? He had his moment in the 90s where the studios tried to push him as the next big heartthrob. The only problem was he kind of exudes a skeeziness which oozed out no matter what role he was playing. I mean check out his lead role debut If Looks Could Kill (1991) to see what I mean. 

So what about dudes who turn into cats? Okay so let's talk about Tomcat: Dangerous Desires. Grieco plays an interpretive dancer named Tom (already laughing) with a degenerative nerve disease who meets up with a scientist named Jacki (Maryam d'Abo) who likes to fuck around and find out with animal DNA (you see where this is going?). She does some highly illegal experimental shit where she removed the brains from a cat and puts them into Grieco's head. And he let her do that. Wow!

So now Tom is part cat. Get it? Tomcat? Get it?!! So he can apparently jump off of 3-story buildings and land on his feet, and he can't lose fights, and he becomes an even better dancer because cats are amazing dancers, and nobody, I mean nobody can knock his ass down. So, when he's not having sex with his cat scientist he hooks up with a lady interpretive dancer name Imogen (Natalie Radford) who does her hair like Darth Maul when on stage (kinda punk, I dig it). Jealousy ensues. Cat fight rawrr! The ladies don't like each other and Tom starts getting all skittish and murdering people. Cat's do that you know.

Several people die and then the film has a wonderful final battle between Tomcat and one of his lady-friends (the one who isn't dead) and there is a log rolling duel and as they're log-rolling he says "I bet you thought cat's couldn't swim. Well we can swim, we just don't like to." and then she dives off her log into the water and he dissappears. Then they somehow end up in the same car and there's a big Thelma & Louise driving off a cliff moment except not nearly as good and they don't actually like each other. Maybe everyone drowns or do they? Do cats have 9 lives? Do people-cats have 9 lives? Do evil scientists have 9 lives? Do interpretive dancers have 9 lives? I really don't know anymore.

Tomcat: Dangerous Desires (1991) - Witten & Directed by: Paul Donovan

Thrill Me: Midnight Ride (1990)

Me: "Horror, horror, horror. All you talk about is horror."

Also me: " Yeah, because horror rules. It's the absolute best."

Me: "Well yeah but there are other things in life. Like what about Thrillers? You know, like those horror adjacent movies from the 70s through the early 2000s that had horror elements but more of a who-dunnit, who's the killer kind of vibe."

Also me: "So like, horror's polite cousin that makes you look like a grimy, satanic piece of trash? Horror's best friend with better grades and better manners? Even though you know they're doing it doggie style behind the bleachers but somehow they've fooled everyone into thinking they're respectable. Horror-lite?"

Me: "Sure, I love thrillers. Especially the weird ones from the 80s-90s."

Also me: "Okay, actually so do I."

Oh, why hello there. Don't mind me, just having a little argument. Nothing to worry about. Where're you headed? Need a lift? Don't mind the machete in the back seat. I just came from my job at the old corn field on hwy I-5. That's why there's blood on my pants. Corn is sharp. Bet you didn't know that...

Okay enough of that, who here likes a Thriller? Sure we all do. They always start with a mentally unstable killer out for a drive or a significant other showing their true creepy colors or perhaps someone likes you just a little too much that they want to be you. Fun, right?!

So I want to dedicate a tiny part of the interwebs to these forgotten weirdo thrillers that don't get enough love. Candy and Corpses presents: THRILL ME: The Lost Gen-X Thrillers.

Midnight Ride (1990) Directed by Bob Bralver. Starring: Michael Dudikoff, Mark Hamill, Savina Gersak, and Robert frickin Mitchum! 

Tagline: 'Somewhere round the next bend, lies the road to terror!' 

So in 1990 Canon Films (you will see them quite a lot in this series) released Midnight Ride. Michael Dudikoff (the American Ninja himself) plays a shitty cop who is a shitty husband to Lara played excellently by Savina Gersak. Yes, he has a broken leg but he cannot be bothered to give his wife the time of day. Well, Lara ain't gonna take it anymore and threatens to leave him. He's all "I'll kill you before you leave me." and he's a total creep. Lara is all "fuck you" and takes off anyway.

Now, if you had just run away from your shitty husband would you pick up a sweaty looking Mark Hamill hitchhiking in the dark? Maybe, depends on your mood I guess. Well she does and guess what, they do not end up getting along. Turns out Justin (Mr. Hamill) may have a really, really, really dark secret. 

Meanwhile Lawson (Mr Dudikoff) is in pursuit the entire film. But why does he keep finding dead bodies on route? How many cars does he steal and hijack to keep his chase going? What can he use to rip this stupid cast off his stupid broken leg?!

All I can say without spoiling is that is you enjoy showdowns between two kinds of crazy you'll have a wonderful time. Big ole weird looking glass eyeball, being strapped to the hood of a car and rammed into a fuel truck, electro-shock therapy torture, Robert Mitchum doing his thing, being shot at while crawling through air vents. All kinds of good thrilling stuff.

Enjoy this quote from the film:

Trucker: [Seeing the cab outside]

[loudly]

Trucker: Hey, did anyone order a cab?

Lawson: I'm looking for a women

Trucker: Aren't we all?

Lawson: [poking the trucker] LOOK MAN, I'M TIRED, I'M PISSED, I'M READY TO KILL

Paint the Rooms Red.

I'll just say it. How the fuck did Red Rooms (2023) get past me without ever hearing anything about it? It's an amazing film. Yes it's in French and I know lots of people don't like reading their movies ("If I wanted to read, I'd finish elememtary school!"). I mean it's not even a real French film, this film is from Quebec Canada. That's like 1/3rd American these days right? Hell, I'm dyslexic and I loved it so I think you can manage a watch. Okay, enough hating on people that hate foreign films. They suffer their own existence. Also, I am half Quebecois so back off Canadians.

Last night I was deep into a Reddit thread about serial killer movies and happened upon a film titled Red Rooms (2003). Between the hundreds of posts talking about video store staples like Texas Chainsaw, Deranged, and Ed Gein I saw someone post about a serial killer movie that is actually about the people who are infatuated with serial killers and how completely icky that made them feel. Red Rooms (2023) directed by Pascal Plante and it is so good it totally killed me dead.

A computer savy model, played fucking fantastically by Juliette Gariépy becomes obsessed with the murder trial of a serial killer who tortured, mutilated and killed three teenage girls. She attends the trial, makes friends with a serial killer groupie played wonderfully by Laurie Babin, and slowly loses her grip on keeping her shit together. The dark web is an ugly nasty place and maybe she's at home there. I'm not sure. This film still has be thinking about it and if you love nice tidy endings then this is probably not your movie. 

Also, if you want to be paranoid about your cyber security and how your tech is easily be corrupted then you should give it a watch. I changed all my passwords after watching. Two step verification, yes ma'am. Covering my cameras and microphones, thinking about it. And fuck, anyone need a gently used Alexa dot? Probably still not enough...

CaC Score: Red Rooms (2003) 9 out of 10 Dark Web Chat Rooms

The Candy and Corpses Top 24 Horror Films of 2024.

2024 wasn't great wasn't great for me. Starting off of Jan 1st with severe Covid/RSV that lasted over 3 months and forever wrecked my lungs. Then came the shitty mental health aftermath. Turns out struggling to breathe can cause certain anxieties and OCDs that are pretty hard to overcome. But alas, just in time for the absolute mindfuck that 2025 could possibly be I have compiled a list of horror films for you. You like lists. I know you do. Okay, so I watched a ton of rad horror films this year. It was an amazing year for film in general. So here is MY top 24 horror films of 2024.

24.  Frogman (Dir: Anthony Cousins) I'm so glad this lil freakshow of a film made the list. It totally came out of nowhere and I wouldn't even have seen it if Terror Vision hadn't released it on blu-ray. Found footage, frog monsters, frog cults, crazy body horror. It's such a good time.

23. Woman of the Hour (Dir: Anna Kendrick) Based of the true story of serial killer & rapist Rodney Alcala and his 1978 appearance on the already creepy game show The Dating Game and the unfortunate show contestant Sheryl Bradshaw who won a date with him. It's got a wonderfully unnerving 1970s California vibe and paints a upsettingly perfect picture of the misogynist realities that women face everyday.

22. Smile 2 (Dir: Parker Finn) The sequel to original 2022 horror hit Smile, this time we follow a pop star who is "infected" by the smile demon/virus. I enjoyed that they went in a completely different direction in part 2 focusing on the gaslighting and back stabbing that comes with fame and that when it comes down to it, people love to watch other people fall to the bottom.

21. Terrifier 3 (Dir: Damien Leone) Okay so look, the Terrifier movies are not everyone's cup of tea, I get that. Murder porn with little to no actual story. But you cant deny that Art the Clown is actually pretty scary. And the gore scenes are super creative and balls to the walls gory. Don't try so hard and just enjoy it for what it is. A hilarious Christmas bloodfest.

20. Alien Romulus (Dir: Fede Álvarez) I really wanted to love Romulus. I really did. I love the Alien franchise. Alien and Aliens are two of my all time favorite films. Hell, I even defend part 3. But come on studios, can you please quit with all the stupid fan service and young adult characters that look like they'd rather be playing Minecraft on their tablet. I mean the stars of this film look like they belong on a CW show called Ragtag Space Teens. That aside, it was pretty to look at. And the xenomorphs are just fucking cool no matter what movie they're in.

19. Heretic (Dir: Scott Beck, Bryan Woods) This movie brought me back to what it felt like being trapped in Sunday school when I'd rather be home watching Sunday morning kaiju films. Mormon girls get invited into a weird house by a weirdo Hugh Grant and are taught about the dangers of blind faith. Good stuff.

18. Abigail (Dir: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett) I love when I go into a film expecting totally cheesy cheese and actually have a good time. It's too bad Universal gave away the twist in the trailers and promo material. That would've been a great payoff. Yes, the girl is a vampire. And yes, the shitbirds who kidnapped her are going to pay dearly.

17. Oddity (Dir: Damian Mc Carthy) If my blind sister-in-law brought over a scary wooden man to my house after my wife was murdered I'd tell her to get the fuck out and take that creepy shit with her. Also if I lived near a spooky insane asylum I would also move the hell away from there especially when escaped patients came knocking on my door with their one weird eyeball. 

16. Stopmotion (Dir: Robert Morgan) Shudder released a few bangers this year. Stop-motion filmmaking is so cool and this film turns it on it's creepy mushy-shaped head. I love the "am I going insane or is this messed up shit really happening" genre of horror. Also, stay the fuck away from spooky kids that don't seem to live anywhere or have any family and constantly roam your apartment building hallways.

15. The Devil's Bath (Dir: Severin Fiala, Veronika Franz) There's something about ole-timey folk horror that when done well it really gets under my skin. This film transports you to a bleak time with bleak religious practices and desperate behavior. Absolutely stunning to look at and depressing but in a good way if that even makes any sense. 

14. Late Night with the Devil (Dir: Cameron Cairnes, Colin Cairnes) Another Shudder released banger. A lot of people I know have this as one of their top horror of the year and although I really liked it I can't help but compare it to Chris LaMartina's WNUF Halloween Special or even BBC's Ghostwatch so it doesn't feel as fresh of an idea to me. That said I think they did an awesome job with the 1970s vibe and it has some super fun spooky scenes in it.

13. Immaculate (Dir: Michael Mohan) It was an awesome year for religious horror and devil babies and spooky nuns. Immaculate is so gorgeous to look at and the performances were all amazing. And holy fuck that ending is brutal. 

12. Lisa Frankenstein (Dir: Zelda Williams) OMFG this movie is cute. It's like Heathers meets Edward Scissorhands meets May. Sometimes you just need body parts to make your boyfriend whole and it's not like anyone is going to offer an arm or tongue or ummm dick so like whatever, I'll just cut off yours. Cool?

11. Love Lives Bleeding (Dir: Rose Glass) A great love story about addiction and need and family and wow, I wonder how many times Katy O'Brien could bench press me. Wow!

10. Godzilla Minus One (Dir: Takashi Yamazaki) Top ten baby!! I've loved Godzilla movies ever since I was a kid and TBS would play dubbed kaiju movies on Sunday mornings. A few years ago Shin Godzilla was an amazing renewal for the "thunder lizard" and Minus One takes another huge leap forward separating it from the goofy (but loved) Godzilla films of the past. It's my favorite Godzilla movie since the OG. I love that the human characters are the focus and doing their best to not only survive in post war Japan but fight off the unhappy, lighting spewing, building evaporating Gojira. 

9. The Substance (Dir: Coralie Fargeat) It's wonderful to get some mind blowing horror directed by women this year which we need more of. Sucks that I even need to point that out. I haven't seen body horror done this well since Cronenberg's The Brood or the shunting in Brian Yuzna's Society. Some seriously gross stuff. Also, aging fucking sucks and it's awful the way we treat people as they get old. 

8. The First Omen (Dir: Arkasha Stevenson) Had you told me that an Omen prequel would be in my top ten horror films of the year I would've laughed at you. Once in a while, a prequel, requel, re-do kills it, it's seriously rare but it happens (right Suspiria?). How did Damien come to be? More religious spookiness, creepy nuns, demon babies, and an amazing score by Mark Korven. It has some European sensibilities and almost feels like a Giallo. Absolutely loved it.

7. A Quiet Place: Day One (Dir: Michael Sarnoski) The Quiet Pace is the franchise that keeps on giving. I loved Lupita Nyong'o in this film as a dying women with cancer and not much will to live but when the alien shit hits the fan she has to take care of a helpless business dude and her adorable cat. As always, rad creature designs and premise. That ending. Ugh, I cried like a baby.

6. Exhuma (Dir: Jang Jae-hyun) Yo Shudder, WTF killing' it! Exhuma has become my favorite Korean horror film. The Wailing took that spot a couple years ago and here we are. A wealthy family hires some paranormal experts to help deal with their "cursed" ancestral burial grounds. Unfortunately they fuck with the wrong grave!

5. Strange Darling (Dir: JT Mollner) I love when a film sets me up with a basic premise and then it smacks me in the face with "you thought you knew what was going on, wrong!!!" Strange Darlings locks you in the trunk and takes you for a ride. That's all I really want to say about it. Go watch it so you know.

4. MadS (Dir: David Moreau) THIS MOVIE IS ONE CONTINUOUS SHOT! And it totally rules. The acting rules, the filmmaking rules, the story rules. It's frantic, upsetting, and makes me twitch. MadS came out of nowhere and blew me the hell away. Vive le cinéma français!!!

3. Nosferatu (Dir: Robert Eggers) The endless dread, the gorgeous costumes, the beautifully eerie cinematography, the haunting score, the luscious performances. Holy hell the movie is so good. Eggers may be one of my favorite directors. "We are here encountering the undead plague carrier... the vampyr... Nosferatu" Fuck I need to watch it again.

2. Longlegs (Dir: Osgood Perkins) My favorite genre of film is serial killer vs FBI with an occult twist and that's exactly what this film gave me times ten. The acting was superb. I related soooo much to Maika Monroe's character. Longlegs is weird and creepy and the devil is in the details (and the shadows). I'm still wondering about the orbs and dolls and wtf they mean and I like that I don't understand. Spooky.

1. I Saw The TV Glow (Dir: Jane Schoenbrun) Have you ever watched a film that spoke to you so profoundly that you can't even describe to people what it meant to you because it's like showing off a piece of your soul? That's what this beautiful, depressing, eerie experience was like for me. The crushing slow death of not being able to be your true self and the safe skewed haven that nostalgia gives you to step around your present self. Love people for who they are, not what you need them to be. 

Thank you all for getting this far and here's to another rad year of horror. Let me know what your favorites were. Buy physical media & go to the cinemas. As for the incoming doom of 2025, who knows but let's keep it spooky.

A Candy and Corpses Creepsmas.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! My gift to you... A Candy and Corpses Creepsmas filled with deranged Santas, cackling reindeer, candy cane licking, creepy Christmas caroling, cereal eating, tree burning, blood freezing eye gouging holiday cheer!

Welcome to the Goat Cult.

So I was contacted by someone on TwiX killer Bluesky. (follow me: https://bsky.app/profile/corpsecandy.bsky.social ) asking me if I'd be interested in checking out their short film. They told me it was about goat cults and I said "sure, why not. I'd love to check it out." A few messages and a few days later I recieved a DVD in the mail. The film in question is La Cabra by Toruga Productions. Here's the blurb from their youtube page: "Set in 1974, this atmospheric short horror film depicts the story of Laura, a child who has an affinity for goats. As this macabre tale unfolds, we see Laura drawn deep into the forest to commune with the Great Hooved He-Goat.Music by Alicia Fricker, with kind permission of David Amito - Antrum."

I rather enjoyed this under 15 minute short film. I was nicely shot and gives retro folksy spooky vibes. I watched it late at night on my 13" Sony CRT television which I think gave it a more "vintage" feel and I think it would sit nicely with Piers Haggard's 1971 folk horror film The Blood on Satan's Claw. Cults and devils and spooky kids are usually a recipe for good things and La Cabra delivers.

Here's the film in its entirety from Toruga Production youtube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/@Toruga.Productions

https://www.facebook.com/TorugaProductions/