Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Vancouver... um I mean Manhattan. AKA Jason Goes Out for a Slice. Okay, so this rowdy outing for our rotting hockey-masked big boy was not his best but people do not give this film enough credit. While it may not be the scariest of the bunch it definitely has enough weirdness and (perhaps unintentional) humor to keep you entertained. I mean, Jason literally punches a guy's head off and kicks a pack of hoodlums in the boombox. My one gripe with the film is that they got the final girl all wrong. Despite having all these murdery visions and whatnot final girl Rennie was kinda boring. She's like a grown-up Tommy Jarvis-lite. I would've preferred guitar wielding rocker chick JJ. Not only does she have great hair she could've wielded her axe (ie: guitar) as a deadly weapon. That would've taken the film to a whole other level.
2020 Texas Gladiators aka Anno 2020 - I Gladiatori del Futuro is a film by Joe D'Amato about post-apocalyptic Texas. A ragtag band of scantily clad Texans fight against a fascist regime (who wear fancy helmets and wield clear plastic shields and uzis) that is trying to take control of... well Texas I guess. Yeah, it's set in the year 2020. Holy shit, this is the perfect film for right now. Stressful times ya know? The moral of the story is (spoiler alert!!!!) that fascists will always get their asses kicked in the end. I'm looking at you, you melty creamsicle looking dumbfuck of a president. Well, at least there is still plenty of spare cans of aquanaut and vats of peroxide after the apocalypse. You might be starving but your hair is gonna look awesome. It seems as though maybe clothing is hard to come by though. Just have to cover your dirty bits with scraps of shredded leather like everyone else. Oh yeah, and make sure you stock up on the guzzaline for your dirt bikes. And be sure to wipe those seat down, especially after a day of riding around in your ass-less chaps.
...and for those of you who manna watch a whole VHS rip here you go. Enjoy creeps.
Happy Halloween all you ghosts and goblins. We finally made it. Day 61 of the Candy and Corpses Halloween Horror Countdown. That's my top three films (plus lots of bonus films) a day starting with the year 1960 and up. That's a whole lot of spooky. Yes, this year has been awful and challenging but at least we've have some good fun film scares to drown out the real scares for a minute. We had underwater Cthulhu, zoom meetings gone horribly wrong, and grandma is being creepy again. I hope you all have a safe and spooky Halloween. Eat lots of candy, put on your creepiest costume, and watch lots of scary movies. Until next time! xoxo
2020
1. Underwater (Directed by William Eubank)
IMDB plot: A crew of oceanic researchers working for a deep sea drilling company try to get to safety after a mysterious earthquake devastates their deepwater research and drilling facility located at the bottom of the Mariana Trench.
2. Host (Directed by Rob Savage)
IMDB plot: Six friends hire a medium to hold a seance via Zoom during lockdown, but they get far more than they bargained for as things quickly go wrong.
3. Relic (Directed by Natalie Erika James)
IMDB plot: A daughter, mother and grandmother are haunted by a manifestation of dementia that consumes their family's home.
Bonus Films!!! Surprisingly in a year pretty sparse in horror films there were quite a few films I really enjoyed. Native zombie apocalypse and wolf cops galore.
Blood Quantum (Directed by Jeff Barnaby)
IMDB plot: The dead are coming back to life outside the isolated Mi'kmaq reserve of Red Crow, except for its Indigenous inhabitants who are strangely immune to the zombie plague.
The Wolf of Snow Hollow (Directed by Jim Cummings)
IMDB plot: Terror grips a small mountain town as bodies are discovered after each full moon. Losing sleep, raising a teenage daughter, and caring for his ailing father, officer Marshall struggles to remind himself there's no such thing as werewolves.
Well hell. Here we are. This is the end. For now. xoxo
