Disappearing Act.

Hello there fiends. So I know what you're probably saying: "Why the hell did you just disappear in the middle of the Candy and Corpses Halloween Strychnine awards?" Yeah, sorry about that. I had hand surgery (twice) to try and repair torn ligaments in my dominant hand and it was just too hard to bring you creeps content without hiring a shady minion typist. Now my hand feels like a semi-useful bag of bones and I can once again type away to my shriveled hearts content.

Anyways, whether you like it or not I am back to shove weird substance into your eye sockets. Wanna watch a Giallo you might have never heard of? How about we watch La Coda della Scorpione aka The Case of the Scorpion's Tail (1971).

Skeazy wife Lisa finds out that her super rich rich hubby exploded on a plane and left his fortune to her. She travels to Greece to meet her skeazy lover while the insurance company suspects that perhaps a bomb was planted on the rich husband's plane (aka murder). All kinds of twists and turns and murdery hijinks occurs. Who killed who? Why is everyone dying? Where can I get good spanakopita? Who gets to keep all that murder money? Which one of these people has a scorpion tail? Watch and find out.

I Can't Feel My Face.

Hey you. Yeah you. Welcome to day 18 of the Candy and Corpses Strychnine Awards. I'm currently sitting here watching the Knight Rider Halloween episode titles "Forever Knight" and there's a guy in a gorilla suit strangling women while Laura Branigan's "Self Control." plays in the background. That has nothing to do with this award but I'm just telling you to show yo my frame of mind. 

Anyways, on to the awards!

October 18th, 2021: The award for best Original Face-Off goes to...  

Les Yeux sans Visage aka Eyes Without a Face (1960)
Directed by Georges Franju

If my loved one lost her face I would do whatever I had to do to get her a new face. Even if I had to steal someone else's face to give it to her. Does that make me a bad person? I think not. And I would continue stealing peoples faces until we found the right one. And once we did I would still steal people's faces just in case her new face ever started to look droopy or anything. I'm going to keep her face looking great forever. Anyways, let me know if you wanna come over and hang out. We could watch Eyes Without a Face. I have snacks.

In Korea, Ghosts Hunt You.

Hey there fiends, welcome to day 17 of the Candy and Corpses Strychnine Awards. When I was younger I really wanted to be a ghost hunter. Especially after watching Ghostbusters in the theater as a kid. Little did I know that instead of running around with proton packs and chasing people turned into demon dogs, "really life" ghost hunters mostly just sat in dilapidated buildings watching rats scurry by their feet as they ate a bologna sandwich and listened for the occasional eerie noise to be made. "No, it wasn't the old rusty pipes. It is the cries of a 17th century barmaid who may have died of consumption right at this very spot." Don't get me wrong. I'm believer. I just don't like being dirty and I get tired easily so...

Anyways, on to the awards!

October 17th, 2021: The award for best Possessed Youtuber Gone Wild goes to...  

Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum (2018)
Directed by Beom-sik Jeong

Condemned asylum's are not somewhere you could make me hang out even if you were paying me money. Especially an asylum where historically horrible shit took place. I'm way too sensitive for that. I would probably just imploded from anxiety before I even got past the front steps. Say, what would you do if you were hanging out with people in a spooky place and suddenly one of your friends went all black eyed and started speed mumbling gibberish and jerking their head around all creepy like? Or suddenly there's a hairless old naked man squating in the corner smiling at you. That's the kind of awful stuff that happens when you hang out in messed up asylums. Screw that.

Boob Tube.

Hello creeps and welcome to day 16 of the Candy and Corpses Strychnine Awards. I talk about it all the time but damn I miss those days of walking into a video rental store and spending forever looking at all the VHS boxes in the horror section. I pretty much always rented movies based on how cool the cover looked. Lots of gore and sexy ladies and monsters sign me up! They just don't make movie posters and dvd cover art like they used to with 80s VHS. It all looks the same now. Okay now I just made myself sad. At least I'm just glad there are companies like Shout Factory and Vinegar Syndrome and Severin films that continue that horror shock art tradition.

Anyways, on to the awards!

October 16th, 2021: The award for best Lipstick Magic Trick goes to...  

Night of the Demons (1988)
Directed by Kevin Tenney

My adoration for Linnea Quigley is no secret. She is definitely one of my all time favorite 'scream queens'. So imagine if you will young teenage me watching Night of the Demons on VHS late one night and Linnea Quigley's Suzanne draws all over her face with lipstick, removes her blouse, then shoves the tube of lipstick right into her boob until it disappears. My mind was blown and I remember rewinding to that scene over and over again just to see if I could see how it was done (not just to look at tits). That's some spooky weird shit Linnea. Thank you for being you.

The Candy and Corpses 2021 Halloween Spooktacular!

Here it is creeps. The Candy and Corpses 2021 Halloween Spooktacular! Spooky shorts, cartoons, trailers, commercials, and a wicked feature presentation. Enjoy and remember these safety tips when trick or treating: Look both ways before crossing the street, make sure to wear a bright reflective costumes with eye holes big enough to see, pray to your demon overlords, and be sure to check your your candy! 

🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻🎃🎃👻🎃

Spider Town.

Greeting and welcome to day 15 of the Candy and Corpses Strychnine Awards. I'm going to keep this one short and sweet because I have A BIG surprise in store for you creeps today. Stay tuned for the Candy and Corpses 2021 Spooktacular. Lots of creepy shorts, commercials, trailers, and a wicked feature presentation starring Rue McClanahan of Golden Girls fame and demon puppets! But for now, what's got eight legs and almost killed a guy from space?

Anyways, on to the awards!

October 15th, 2021: The award for best Town Eaten by Spiders goes to...  

Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)
Directed by John 'Bud' Cardos

It's not often that a made for TV movie affects me often. I saw this movie when I was 8 years old and I have since had severe arachnophobia ever since. Well that and the fact that I am deathly allergic to spider bites and once when I was little I got bit by a brown recluse spider while picking berries and nearly had to have an emergency tracheotomy on the way to the hospital. However I do love Spider-Man and fam. Anyways, wanna watch a whole town get covered in giant spiders and see William Shatner be himself while covered in spiders? Check it out.

Spooky Hospital.

Get better soon and welcome to day 14 of the Candy and Corpses Strychnine Awards. Do you like hospitals? Like not the idea of hospitals but the weird sterile creepiness of being in the hospital? I loved them as a kid. I liked hanging out by the vending machines in hospitals and begging for change for snacks from random strangers. I spent a lot of time in hospitals when I was younger from being a daredevil psychopath. I've broken so many bones in my body by trying things like backflips off the top off little league baseball bleachers or sliding face first down ridiculously steep hills into a gutter covered in ice. Old me is now paying the price. I think even my tongue has arthritis. 

Anyways, on to the awards!

October 14th, 2021: The award for best Hospital Jump Scare goes to...  

The Exorcist III (1990)
Directed by William Peter Blatty

The third Exorcist is my favorite third sequel. Along with Halloween III and Day of the Dead. That scene in the hospital gave me actual nightmares when I first watched it. It's definitely one of the scariest scenes in horror films. I won't say anything about it so you can be super scared if you haven't seen it. I heard people have died watching that scene because it's so scary. It's true, read it somewhere. Watch it and see for yourself.

Sexy Space Vampire.

Hello blood suckers and rat tossers. Welcome to day lucky number 13 of the Candy and Corpses 2021 Strychnine Awards. Have you ever really loved a book or comic and then you heard it was going to be made into a film or tv show and you get super excited and then it comes out and you're like "What the biscuits and gravy is going on here? Am I dead? Is this Hell?" It ends up being so bad that you need to sandpaper your eyes just to scrub away that hurt that was just inflicted on them. But then over time you end up enjoyed thing that made you go blind in the first place. Yeah, it really sucks when that happens.

Anyways, on to the awards!

October 13th, 2021: The award for best Maybe Worst Sexy Vampiress from Outer Space goes to...  

Vampirella (1996)
Directed by Jim Wynorski

Okay first let me get this out of the way. I feel like actress Talisa Soto did the best she could with what she was given. She vamps around all gorgeous like and shoots laser guns and bites losers. This movie would look right at home next to Masters of the Universe in the Canon Films library. I mean, this was directed by the same director who brought us Chopping Mall ten years earlier. With the film's $17 budget the iconic Vampirella "outfit" was exchanged for an ill-fitting Dollar Tree vinyl "Vampire Alien Girl" costume but it still does the job. The supporting cast's acting is so bad its bad especially the main villain dude who happens to have an amazing side ponytail. So yeah, is it good? No. Do I kinda love it anyway? Yeah. Anyways, maybe it's been long enough since this came out to re-do the character with a lot more blood and sleaze the way god intended it to be.

TV Casualties.

Salut mes petits monstres. Welcome to days 11 and 12 of the Candy and Corpses 2021 Strychnine Awards. I know what you're thinking "What the living fuck Violet, you are cheating. Two awards in one post? I didn't pay for this?!" Yes, I am cheating and yes, you didn't pay for this. Rulez are for foolz. Obey your television. Say, did your parents let you watch sleazy stuff on cable when your were a teenager? My mom would occasionally say I couldn't watch something for no reason whatsoever and I'm like "why is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre okay but I can't watch Debbie Does Dallas?" But no matter what my parents said I would just sneak watch whatever you wanted anyway? Television loves you. They're like "you can't watch Cinemax on cable after midnight because that's for adults only" and I'm like "whatever, I'm 13 and I've also already seen plenty of tits and ass and sleazy guys with handle bar mustaches. Don't tell me what to do!"  Television is your god now. When you are young you are like "old people are boring and stupid." and once you pass 40 you're like "young people are annoying and stupid." Anyways, yeah one the one thing that old and young people can agree on is that television rulez. Turn on 'Family Ties' or 'Knight Rider' and everyone settles the hell down. All hail television. Am I right? I mean I can just sit and listen to static on a tv and be super happy and do whatever it tells me to do. 

Anyways, on to the awards!

October 11th & 12th, 2021: The award for best Television Kills goes to...  

Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) and Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

Directed by Chuck Russel and John McNaughton

and...