Who here grew up watching all those 90s cable horror list docs on channels like AMC, Bravo, VH1, etc? Seemed like around Halloween they'd pop up and I was like the Fly to flypaper. I had to watch. Even though I had seen all of those "old" monster movies a million times I loved watching hosts like Elvira cracking boob jokes when talking about The Blob or Jack Palance whispering about King Kong or whatever. Microwave some Bagel Bites and please enjoy Monster Mania (1997) as shown on AMC.
Welcome thrill-seekers to another episode of Thrill Me, a deep dive (or at least a peek through the motel peephole into) the lurid thrillers of the 80s & 90s. Serial killers, bad boyfriends, unhinged babysitters, dudes that are part cat... Yeah you heard me. So who here remembers Richard Grieco? The not-as-suave, pouty, slightly sweaty replacement for Johnny Depp on the original 21 Jump Street show? He had his moment in the 90s where the studios tried to push him as the next big heartthrob. The only problem was he kind of exudes a skeeziness which oozed out no matter what role he was playing. I mean check out his lead role debut If Looks Could Kill (1991) to see what I mean.
So what about dudes who turn into cats? Okay so let's talk about Tomcat: Dangerous Desires. Grieco plays an interpretive dancer named Tom (already laughing) with a degenerative nerve disease who meets up with a scientist named Jacki (Maryam d'Abo) who likes to fuck around and find out with animal DNA (you see where this is going?). She does some highly illegal experimental shit where she removed the brains from a cat and puts them into Grieco's head. And he let her do that. Wow!
So now Tom is part cat. Get it? Tomcat? Get it?!! So he can apparently jump off of 3-story buildings and land on his feet, and he can't lose fights, and he becomes an even better dancer because cats are amazing dancers, and nobody, I mean nobody can knock his ass down. So, when he's not having sex with his cat scientist he hooks up with a lady interpretive dancer name Imogen (Natalie Radford) who does her hair like Darth Maul when on stage (kinda punk, I dig it). Jealousy ensues. Cat fight rawrr! The ladies don't like each other and Tom starts getting all skittish and murdering people. Cat's do that you know.
Several people die and then the film has a wonderful final battle between Tomcat and one of his lady-friends (the one who isn't dead) and there is a log rolling duel and as they're log-rolling he says "I bet you thought cat's couldn't swim. Well we can swim, we just don't like to." and then she dives off her log into the water and he dissappears. Then they somehow end up in the same car and there's a big Thelma & Louise driving off a cliff moment except not nearly as good and they don't actually like each other. Maybe everyone drowns or do they? Do cats have 9 lives? Do people-cats have 9 lives? Do evil scientists have 9 lives? Do interpretive dancers have 9 lives? I really don't know anymore.
Tomcat: Dangerous Desires (1991) - Witten & Directed by: Paul Donovan
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Me: "Horror, horror, horror. All you talk about is horror."
Also me: " Yeah, because horror rules. It's the absolute best."
Me: "Well yeah but there are other things in life. Like what about Thrillers? You know, like those horror adjacent movies from the 70s through the early 2000s that had horror elements but more of a who-dunnit, who's the killer kind of vibe."
Also me: "So like, horror's polite cousin that makes you look like a grimy, satanic piece of trash? Horror's best friend with better grades and better manners? Even though you know they're doing it doggie style behind the bleachers but somehow they've fooled everyone into thinking they're respectable. Horror-lite?"
Me: "Sure, I love thrillers. Especially the weird ones from the 80s-90s."
Also me: "Okay, actually so do I."
Oh, why hello there. Don't mind me, just having a little argument. Nothing to worry about. Where're you headed? Need a lift? Don't mind the machete in the back seat. I just came from my job at the old corn field on hwy I-5. That's why there's blood on my pants. Corn is sharp. Bet you didn't know that...
Okay enough of that, who here likes a Thriller? Sure we all do. They always start with a mentally unstable killer out for a drive or a significant other showing their true creepy colors or perhaps someone likes you just a little too much that they want to be you. Fun, right?!
So I want to dedicate a tiny part of the interwebs to these forgotten weirdo thrillers that don't get enough love. Candy and Corpses presents: THRILL ME: The Lost Gen-X Thrillers.
Midnight Ride (1990) Directed by Bob Bralver. Starring: Michael Dudikoff, Mark Hamill, Savina Gersak, and Robert frickin Mitchum!
Tagline: 'Somewhere round the next bend, lies the road to terror!'
So in 1990 Canon Films (you will see them quite a lot in this series) released Midnight Ride. Michael Dudikoff (the American Ninja himself) plays a shitty cop who is a shitty husband to Lara played excellently by Savina Gersak. Yes, he has a broken leg but he cannot be bothered to give his wife the time of day. Well, Lara ain't gonna take it anymore and threatens to leave him. He's all "I'll kill you before you leave me." and he's a total creep. Lara is all "fuck you" and takes off anyway.
Now, if you had just run away from your shitty husband would you pick up a sweaty looking Mark Hamill hitchhiking in the dark? Maybe, depends on your mood I guess. Well she does and guess what, they do not end up getting along. Turns out Justin (Mr. Hamill) may have a really, really, really dark secret.
Meanwhile Lawson (Mr Dudikoff) is in pursuit the entire film. But why does he keep finding dead bodies on route? How many cars does he steal and hijack to keep his chase going? What can he use to rip this stupid cast off his stupid broken leg?!
All I can say without spoiling is that is you enjoy showdowns between two kinds of crazy you'll have a wonderful time. Big ole weird looking glass eyeball, being strapped to the hood of a car and rammed into a fuel truck, electro-shock therapy torture, Robert Mitchum doing his thing, being shot at while crawling through air vents. All kinds of good thrilling stuff.
Trucker: [Seeing the cab outside]
[loudly]
Trucker: Hey, did anyone order a cab?
Lawson: I'm looking for a women
Trucker: Aren't we all?
Lawson: [poking the trucker] LOOK MAN, I'M TIRED, I'M PISSED, I'M READY TO KILL
I'll just say it. How the fuck did Red Rooms (2023) get past me without ever hearing anything about it? It's an amazing film. Yes it's in French and I know lots of people don't like reading their movies ("If I wanted to read, I'd finish elememtary school!"). I mean it's not even a real French film, this film is from Quebec Canada. That's like 1/3rd American these days right? Hell, I'm dyslexic and I loved it so I think you can manage a watch. Okay, enough hating on people that hate foreign films. They suffer their own existence. Also, I am half Quebecois so back off Canadians.
Last night I was deep into a Reddit thread about serial killer movies and happened upon a film titled Red Rooms (2003). Between the hundreds of posts talking about video store staples like Texas Chainsaw, Deranged, and Ed Gein I saw someone post about a serial killer movie that is actually about the people who are infatuated with serial killers and how completely icky that made them feel. Red Rooms (2023) directed by Pascal Plante and it is so good it totally killed me dead.
A computer savy model, played fucking fantastically by Juliette Gariépy becomes obsessed with the murder trial of a serial killer who tortured, mutilated and killed three teenage girls. She attends the trial, makes friends with a serial killer groupie played wonderfully by Laurie Babin, and slowly loses her grip on keeping her shit together. The dark web is an ugly nasty place and maybe she's at home there. I'm not sure. This film still has be thinking about it and if you love nice tidy endings then this is probably not your movie.
Also, if you want to be paranoid about your cyber security and how your tech is easily be corrupted then you should give it a watch. I changed all my passwords after watching. Two step verification, yes ma'am. Covering my cameras and microphones, thinking about it. And fuck, anyone need a gently used Alexa dot? Probably still not enough...
CaC Score: Red Rooms (2003) 9 out of 10 Dark Web Chat Rooms
