Elvira, the Queen of Halloween

A Candy and Corpses TV Halloween Special: The Candy and Corpses Elvira Tribute.

The 2024 Candy and Corpses Strychnine Awards!!!

 

Welcome creeps and fiends. There has been a lot of shit talk on the socials the past few days regarding Variety's Top 100 Horror Films of All Time list. Some of it unfair but most of it completely deserved. Like who the hell puts The Human Centipede 2 anywhere near a top 100 list unless it's a top 100 Human Centipede list? Suspiria at #99, go f**k yourself. How the hell is Black Christmas not even on the list? Now, I'm not mad at Texas Chainsaw Massacre at #1. It is one of the truly scarest films of all time. I'm not mad at The Exorcist, also one of the scariest films of all time. Mostly everything else is so out of whack. Anyways, enough of that normy media nonsense. We're here to give praise to the horrible. 

The Best Misuse of Gardening Shears on a River Raft Award goes to...

Congratulations goes to... The Burning (1981) 

Turns out when you set your summer camp caretaker on fire as a joke things arent going to so well for you. Attention camp counsellers, please keep your fingers and toes inside the raft at all times.

The Candy and Corpses Halloween SPOOKTACULAR V

 Hello my fellow fiends. Another spooky season is upon us and your ghoul over here at Candy and Corpses has gone deep into the depths of Halloween and horrors past to spew another SPOOKTACULAR for your creepy consumption. Behold!!! The Candy and Corpses Halloween SPOOKTACULAR V!!!!!!!

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark - Trick or Treat (1985)

 

Breakdown, go ahead give it to me..

Breakdown

Synopsis from the interweb: "On their cross-country drive, a married couple, Jeff (Kurt Russell) and Amy Taylor (Kathleen Quinlan), experience car trouble after an accident. Stranded in the New Mexico desert, the two catch a break when a passing truck driver, Red Barr (J.T. Walsh), offers to drive Amy to a nearby café to call for help. Meanwhile, Jeff is able to fix the car and make his way to the café, only to find his wife missing and Barr claiming ignorance. Jeff then begins a frenzied search for Amy."

Release date: May 2, 1997 (USA)
Director: Jonathan Mostow
Writers: Jonathan Mostow, Sam Montgomery
Stars: Kurt Russell, J.T. Walsh, Kathleen Quinlan

In this teeth clenching thriller Writer/Director Jonathan Mostow took 1970s comedian Henny Youngman's very dated and mysonigystic joke "Take my wife, please!" a little too seriously when writing the screenplay for this film. What if Steven Spielberg's Duel and George Sluizer's The Vanishing had a sweet lil thriller baby? Throw in a little Race With The Devil with it's dusty highway car chases, except instead of Satanists there are shitbird truckers and instead of Warren Oates you have Kurt "Pliskin" Russel.

Would you get in some random truckers cab if your car broke down in the middle of the desert? Better yet, would you let your partner go alone with them while you stay with your car and dehydrate to death? I would not. Just saying. Maybe I remember 1996 differently but I'm pretty sure people were still awful.

So yeah, that's the setup for this film. Kurt Russel is supposed to meet his wife at a nasty little truck stop diner that I could actually smell the food poisoning coming off the screen. She's not there according to the beautiful diner patrons choking on pickled pigs feet sandwiches or whatever and Kurt Russel becomes increasingly unhinged as he races to uncover the truth. Who took his wife, please? Is it the truckers? The cops? The mean redneck assholes? The lady puking on the diner bathroom floor? You'll have to watch to find out.

Awesome car chases, a few tense scares, Kurt Russel getting a sunburn in real time, action packed twists and turns and a pretty sweet bone crushing finale.

I give it 💀💀💀💀💀💀 out of ten corpses.

Welcome to Candy and Corpses

Past Halfway to Halloween.

The time has come and gone. Did you feel it? That's right. We are past the halfway mark to the most glorious night of all nights: Halloween. So I'm sure most of you reading this has watched Michael Myers stalk his (not)sister across all of Haddonfield on super duper high-def 30k whatever. However, have you had the pleasure of watching the NBC 1981 Halloween night television premiere of the John Carpenter classic Halloween recorded on a used Radio Shack video tape that previously contained recordings of bland people in beige suits speaking in "How to Sell Time Shares" seminars? If you answered no, boy-howdy it's your lucky day. One LUCKY winner will win the VHS copy of Halloween I just described complete with commercials, extra tv made scenes (that Carpenter himself made and later was sad about), and occasional weird tracking lines from my VCR.

How to Enter: Tell me what your second favorite Halloween movie is. Either in the comments section of this post or in the Facebook post for this contest. That's it. That's all you have to do and at the end of the week I will randomly pick a winner and send this beauty to your home.