The Night HE Came Home - Halloween (1979) Television Premiere NBC 10/30/81

The night HE came home! I was 7 years old when my family gathered in the downstairs wood paneled rec-room to watch the Halloween tv premiere of Halloween. SHAPED me into who I am today.

 

Want To Watch A Scary Movie?

Will the real Scary Movie please stand up? So... I like to think of myself as a pretty serious horror hound. I mean, I would kill on your horror movie trivia night team. It's not too often that I come across a film that has slipped past me and seems to have laid there forgotten on the long abandoned video store shelves of my mind. A VHS tape with an image that I had seen but never rented laying there covered in rat shit and cobwebs for decades. Over the years I have gorged myself on every scary film that I could get my hands on but life goes by fast and once in a while salient bits of fright fall through the cracks. 

So what happens when someone steals your name and then finds success becoming part of the mind numbing, dumbed down cultural zeitgeist of the coming decade. After all you are a nobody. No-one remembers you and your smallness.  You go from forgotten to nearly non-existent. 

If I ask have you ever seen Scary Movie what if the first thing that pops into your mind. 99 out of 100 people will recall the Scream Ghostface character sticking out his tongue and saying "Wazzzup!". I mean fuck, I would've said the same thing yesterday. Now, I'm not here to shit on those movies (okay a little bit) but those were the beginning of some dark times in horror. I like a good "poop your pants" joke like any other 10 year old would but holy hell this was some stupid shit. A lot of "slip on a banana peel humor" for the masses to lose brain cells with. That said, they are some really funny bits in them, but watch at your own risk. Maybe read a book or something afterwards to cleanse yourself and regain a few brain cells.

(NO SPOILERS, dont worry.) Anyways, Scary Movie (1991) is a total Halloween treat. Weirdo main character Warren is a paranoid, jumpy lil dude played by rad genre actor John Hawks. Him and his buddy (who is a total prick) go on a double date to a rad, rickety house of horrors on Halloween night. So Warren's date shows up (it's a blind date set up by his idiot friend) and she's kinda weird and has giant bangs and likes to steal salt shakers from restaurants. They seem to get along alright I guess except he just stares into space and doesn't talk to her her. Unfortunately her biker gang bad boy ex-boyfriend is there with his bad boy cronies and he's bad and has a knife. I hope nobody gets stabbed.

Meanwhile a mental patient from the local Asylum for the Crimimally Insane has escaped nearby and the local police are trying to hunt him down.  I sure hope he doesn't hide in the house of horrors. So that is the set up. Gore and electrocution and dismemberment and carnys with crazy hair, and little kids with Wolfman dolls, and wandering cows. Yeah, it's a good and weird time.

Thank the gods for independent film labels that dust you off and lovingly restore you to your original glory. AGFA, American Genre Film Archive did just that with a beauty of a blu-ray that's still available at Tomb of Treasure and Diabolik DVD and other weirdo film retailers. I think it's also streaming on TUBI as of posting this right now. Give yourself a Halloween treat and have a watch.

Elvira, the Queen of Halloween

A Candy and Corpses TV Halloween Special: The Candy and Corpses Elvira Tribute.

The 2024 Candy and Corpses Strychnine Awards!!!

 

Welcome creeps and fiends. There has been a lot of shit talk on the socials the past few days regarding Variety's Top 100 Horror Films of All Time list. Some of it unfair but most of it completely deserved. Like who the hell puts The Human Centipede 2 anywhere near a top 100 list unless it's a top 100 Human Centipede list? Suspiria at #99, go f**k yourself. How the hell is Black Christmas not even on the list? Now, I'm not mad at Texas Chainsaw Massacre at #1. It is one of the truly scarest films of all time. I'm not mad at The Exorcist, also one of the scariest films of all time. Mostly everything else is so out of whack. Anyways, enough of that normy media nonsense. We're here to give praise to the horrible. 

The Best Misuse of Gardening Shears on a River Raft Award goes to...

Congratulations goes to... The Burning (1981) 

Turns out when you set your summer camp caretaker on fire as a joke things arent going to so well for you. Attention camp counsellers, please keep your fingers and toes inside the raft at all times.

The Candy and Corpses Halloween SPOOKTACULAR V

 Hello my fellow fiends. Another spooky season is upon us and your ghoul over here at Candy and Corpses has gone deep into the depths of Halloween and horrors past to spew another SPOOKTACULAR for your creepy consumption. Behold!!! The Candy and Corpses Halloween SPOOKTACULAR V!!!!!!!