Hello creeps and welcome to day 3 of the Candy and Corpses 2021 Strychnine Awards! Were you a mall rat as a kid? Do kids even still do that? You know, get dropped off at the mall for the entire day. Hang out at the arcade for hours and drop like 200 quarters into Tempest or Dig Dug until you got carpal tunnel. Drink like 10 large Orange Julius' and get stuffed on some Sbarro pizza and maybe wash it all down with a few Hot Dog on a Sticks. Do the kids still do that?
Anywho, let's move on to the award giving shall we?
October 3rd, 2021: The award for best Head Exploding in the Mall goes to...
Chopping Mall (1986)
Directed by Jim Wynorski
Directed by Jim Wynorski
What happens when a fancy mall tries to save money by using killer robots with laser eyes to guard the mall instead of the usual jerko rent-a-cops that tell you not to run or have any fun what-so-ever? Dead blondes. That's what happens. Speaking of blondes, Chopping Mall has two of my favorite blondes in Barbara Crampton (Reanimator) and Kelli Maroney (Night of the Comet) and one of them might even get to live on as the final mall girl. I think everyone in this movie is a blonde. Do I need glasses? Maybe, but I know that a blonde has their head blown into bits by one of the killer mall robots with its laser eyes and it is messy and spectacular. I bet those killer robots don't clean that up after themselves. I bet you some underpaid mall employee had to get out the mop bucket and crusty wet floor signs for that mess.
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