Bad Monkey, Sweets to the Sweet, Like Totally Vampire. The Horrors of 1992.

Awwww yes, 1992. Before he made hobbits throw their jewelry into volcanos on the big screen, Peter Jackson directed some of the goriest, tasteless films ever and they were bloody brilliant. Ever want to see a guy run through a party of zombies with a lawnmower as a weapon? Watch an old lady's ear fall off into pudding and she eats it? So gross!!! I bet New Zealand had a Karo syrup and red food coloring shortage after Dead Alive was made. Then we have the man made of candy. Okay so maybe he's not made of candy but I'm pretty sure he's made of bees. I remember seeing Candyman in the theater and afterwards I went into my dark bathroom and said his name five times. He never showed up to gut me with his hook hand. I guess I'm glad it didn't work. By the way, Tony Todd who plays Candyman is a super sweet guy. Met him at a con back in the day and he was super cool. Oh yeah, so I love Bram Stoker's Dracula so much. Truthfully, it would've been in my number one spot if it didn't have Keanu and Winona in it. Winona I can kinda deal with but Keanu so does not belong there. His accent was so bad. "Like totally Dracula dude, party on." Don't get me wrong, I love Keanu Reeves. He's the best. But maybe not such a good idea to put him in a period piece. Anyways, Gary Oldman steals the show as Dracula though. Him and his weird butt style hairdo. Damn, the whole production looks so eerie and beautiful. A perfect film for spooky season.

1992

1. Braindead aka Dead Alive (Directed by Peter Jackson)

IMDB plot: A young man's mother is bitten by a Sumatran rat-monkey. She gets sick and dies, at which time she comes back to life, killing and eating dogs, nurses, friends, and neighbors.

2. Candyman (Directed by Bernard Rose)

IMDB plot: The Candyman, a murderous soul with a hook for a hand, is accidentally summoned to reality by a skeptic grad student researching the monster's myth.

3. Bram Stoker's Dracula (Directed by Francis Ford Coppola)

IMDB plot: The centuries old vampire Count Dracula comes to England to seduce his barrister Jonathan Harker's fiancée Mina Murray and inflict havoc in the foreign land.

Okay for those of you crying "What about Army of Darkness"! Truthfully, it's not one of my favorites. I like okay. I'm not sure it's even a horror film in my book. Sorry not sorry. That's it for 1992 fiends. See you tomorrow for 1993. xoxo